Thursday, September 2, 2010:
When I first arrived at the United States Penitentiary in Pollock, Louisiana, I had already been locked up for two years in some of the most violent county jails in Texas, Alabama, and Mississippi. To say I was depressed is an understatement.
I was facing at least ten more years in prison, and I still had a few serious, unresolved charges to face. My brother had overdosed five months earlier, my wife had divorced me and would not answer any phone calls or letters, and still hasn’t to this day, though I can’t say I blame her, and I still wanted to get high more than anything. And I was scared.
One of the counselors asked me a few of the standard questions that were part of the booking process.
Have you ever attempted suicide?
Yes.
When?
After I was arrested.
She put down her pen and reached for the telephone. We got one that needs to see the psychiatrist.
Of course when I see the psychiatrist, he’s got a ton of questions that I didn’t think had anything to do with anything. When he was done with the interrogation, he said, You don’t exhibit any of the characteristics that I normally see in here,
which made me feel a little better about myself.
Then he said, But you will,
which made me angry. It sounded like a challenge to me and I made up my mind to prove him wrong. It set the tone for the rest of my sentence, and except for the next two years, in which I continued to struggle with my addiction, I think I succeeded in that endeavor.
I would continue to see him over the next five years.
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Buy Running Away From Me as a Kindle format ebook.
